5 times Thor was traumatised and 1 time he wasn't
by IberisGalloway
Summary: My fill for the prompt: Loki saying (naughty) sweet nothings to Tony in the Old Norse language. Tony has no idea what it means. So he goes to Thor for help. It'd be funny if Thor overhears some of it!


Note: I avoided using Google translate as much as possible but I did end up using them in the end. However, since I couldn't get proper translations of many sentences, the words**_ bolded and italicized_** are to be considered as the ones in Old Norse language. We clear? :)

And yes, I was so pumped by this prompt that I may have written this within an hour or two and posted it just as quick so any mistakes you see (I hope you won't but I am afraid there may be some mistakes that escaped my immediate notice) are mine!

Enjoy!

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1.

First time Thor overhears his brother speaking in the Old Norse language, Thor is in Tony's bedroom, where he had barged in announced planning to call the man of iron for breakfast but immediately regrets his decision as he watches in horror as the Man of Iron bounces himself on Loki's dick.

But what really traumatizes Thor is not only the image of his teammate and brother fucking, unashamed in their naked glory but the words that had escaped Loki's mouth before Thor had interrupted them.

"**_Ride my dick just like that. You look so beautiful with your cock in that tight little hole of yours_**."

Thor immediately turns and slams the door behind him and promises himself to never ever think of this moment again and most importantly knock every time he enters his brother's lover's chamber.

2.

Second time he hears his brother speak in the old Norse, the Avengers are all assembled in the lounge watching but not really watching the movie that is playing on the television.

At first he thinks he is mistaken but when he hears his brother whispering quite loudly into Tony's ear all the naughty things he would like to do to the man right in front of all his teammates, Thor accidently crushes the bowl full of popcorn.

"What the fuck, dude!?" Clint yells from the floor where he is lying covered in popcorn. Thor apologises red faced and avoids looking at his brother and his lover. The lover in point looks completely unbothered like everyone else because Loki undoubtedly knows the other man doesn't understand a thread of Old Norse.

With a glare towards his brother, who is smiling innocently, he sits back down brushing the popcorn from his seat but soon gets up and leaves when he hears Loki speaking almost absentmindedly to his lover as he runs his hand through his lover's dark hair.

"**_I would have your cock in my mouth, Tony and it's so big I would choke on it undoubtedly but you would push me down on it and I would be so hard_** **_and ready-_**"

3.

The next time, it isn't the words he hears from his brother's mouth but it's his brother's words nonetheless.

Thor is just innocently having his pop-tarts, the Midguardian treat he so loves, when Tony pats his shoulder and greets him. "Whats up big guy?"

"Immm mfff finneemm" He manages to speak, spewing bits of food on the counter. Jane would be abhorred by his table manners.

"Ah! Finishing the stash of Pop tarts, I see." Tony comments, gesturing at the empty wrappers.

Thor only grins back closed mouth, no food spewing this time. Jane would be proud.

"Anyways, big guy! I had something to ask you!" Tony says, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water. "Your brother keeps telling me this but he never tells me what it means and I tried my best to find a translation but since you guys are god and old that jazz, I really couldn't find a translation…"

And Thor feels like a deer caught in headlights. He tries so hard. So hard to pick up his pop-tarts and run away but cursedly he isn't fast enough.

"What does "**_Min kuk virkelig elsker din stor kuk_**-" Tony never gets to finish as Thor chocks on his pop-tarts. Hurriedly, Tony hands the bigger guy his water and swallowing it as quickly as possible, Thor tries to clear his mind of everything he has just heard because despite of Tony's horrible mispronunciation, he understands clearly that Loki's dick really loves Tony's big cock.

He shakes his head in horror and with a hasty goodbye, runs off, pop-tarts falling off his arms.

4.

Thor would say he wasn't any less traumatized now but he is also beginning to relax, not hiding behind corridors and tiptoeing as to avoid his brother and his teammate.

Other Avengers give him weird looks in the beginning but now they are more than used to Thor disappearing as Loki makes his entrance or turning back to where he is coming from if he spots Loki and Tony together.

Bruce suggests yoga to the jumpy Aesir and Thor agrees whole heartedly, eager to learn something new and Midguardians.

After Bruce and Thor finally finish their yoga session in which Thor keeps tumbling over, Thor is ready to hit the shower.

He is halfway to his room when he realizes he has forgotten his mat in the practice hall. He hears loud groans coming from the room and he assumes someone is sparring and only belatedly does it occur to him that that the voice sounds suspiciously like his brother's and Tony's.

"**_feel of you hard body slamming me roughly. Your cock is such a pretty thing. I would pray to it like you pray to Gods._**"

Loki is sprawled under Tony's body on the mat and though both seem clothed, Thor can make out the hand that is inside Tony's pants and since Tony's hands are on either side of the God of Mischief's head, the hand can only be Loki's.

Thor asks Bruce for 'brain bleach' and it takes Bruce almost half an hour to explain that it is just an expression and not an actual product and no he cannot make it in his lab. Suffice to say Thor is back to trailing the hallway in paranoia.

5.

It has been some years now since the Chittauri incident and Loki is no longer considered the bad guy but it doesn't mean he is any less mischievous and more often than not pranks are always occurring in the Avenger Tower much to the dismay of its inhabitants. Therefore, it explains first scream of horror and subsequent threat to life when each member of the Avengers come out to the common room sporting hair colours that could rival the colours of the rainbow

Thor has bubblegum pink locks, Natasha is sporting Acid Green curls, Steve has streaks of white going through a shocking hair of electric blue, Bruce is purple and Clint doesn't even leave his room in his Rainbow hairdo. All in all, Tony looks rather normal, at least in comparison with his bleached blonde look.

Loki seems to think so too because one moment the god is laughing clutching his stomach and the next, Loki has slammed the playboy against a wall and starts kissing his neck.

Everyone groans at the blatant public display of affection, rolling their eyes momentarily forgetting their bizarre hair colours.

Tony has now wrapped his legs around the god's waist and was freely moaning completely oblivious to their disgusted yet amused audience.

"Blonds do have more fun, huh? What do you say, Loki?" Stark manages to jest but the answering sound is just a guttural purr followed by words that only the two Gods can understand.

"**_I need your cock in my now and I want you to fill me with your seed to the brim till I can't walk. Take me to bed and let me be your filthy little whor-"_**

"Loki!" Thor yells, completely aghast at the language but the two have already materialized away, leaving Thor with face as pink as his hair and an expression that makes everyone wonder what exactly Loki said to Tony.

+1

Doctor Doom attacks the city again. By now, everyone just wonders why he hasn't given up yet.

Avengers as usual are called in and manage to save the day. However, the tech Doom uses that day happens to be some part stolen from Stark tech and it takes then longer to take down all the doom bots that are part Stark Tech.

Stark's unibeam works like a charm the first time but it needs to recharge and in between he gets beaten up like a piñata.

But finally, Tony figures out the bots' weakness and the Avengers win and Tony is fine, laughing and joking with his helmet off until Thor sees Loki materialise in front of them and march towards Tony. Loki just punches the other man, square in the jaw and there is the awful sound of impact. Thor winces and he sees Clint do the same.

Everyone seems to be in shock, Tony more so but Loki then grabs the other man's bruised jaw and pulls him forward and joins their forehead together.

"You stupid fool. How could you put yourself in such danger? You idiot! What if something had happened to you?"

Everyone turns away to give the couple their privacy but just as Thor walks away with others, he hears shuffling and he sees his brother and Tony embracing and hears Loki say softly

"**_I love you. My love, my life, my shining light_**."

And for once, Thor is completely okay with what he hears.

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End Notes: Yes, it ends with stupid fluff! Happy Christmas, fellow shippers! 'Tis my holiday gift to you :)

Favourites & Reviews are deeply appreciated and you can always follow me on tumblr (cumbercrack) and maybe check out my etsy as well :)


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